Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager/Quotes
Chad Vader Episode 1: Kneeling before the store manager: :What is thy bidding, my Master? Episode 1: Talking with Randy : Clint is a fool, and I will not tolerate his insolence much longer! ''Episode 2: To a disgruntled customer :Strike me down with your hate and claim your refund! Episode 2: :I sense a disturbance in the store.... Episode 3:" :Can someone have this droid repaired? ''Episode 3: To Clarissa: :I searched my feelings--all of them! Episode 5: To Clarissa: :I spy on people every day, and I don't need to go where they are to do it. Episode 6: As a telemarketer on changing long-distance carrier: :I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further. Episode 6: To a copy machine: :What do you mean error 412?! I've checked the manual--there is no such error! Now do my job! DO! MY! JOB!!! Episode 7: Riding around on a shopping cart: :Admiral, you came out of light-speed too close to the system! laser sounds Episode 7: To a couple with a baby: :Your baby is ugly! Episode 7: To Clint in the dark: :You will be. (Pulls out lightsaber) You WILL be. Jeremy *There's something alive in here. I've got a bad feeling about this.... *RACCOON!!!! *There's a guy sleeping on the meat! *Lord Vader, there's a dog loose in the store! Minor Characters =Dialogue= Season 1 Day Shift Manager :Chad: May I speak with you a moment, my Master? :Randy: It's just Randy, okay, Chad? :Chad: Yes, my Master. (Chad kneels.) :Randy: And don't kneel! It's...weird. :Chad: I have grave news. (Flashback) :Chad: Tammy, I need you to work an extra shift on Saturday. :Tammy: No. (Tammy walks away.) (End flashback) :Chad:...and then she walked away! :Randy: Okay. So? :Chad: Our plans to make this station fully operational on Saturday may be jeopardised! :Randy: Look, uh, just get someone to take her shift, okay, Chad? :Chad: As you wish, Emperor. :Randy: It's Randy! RANDY! I'm not an Emperor! The Date :Chad: I sense potential in you, young one. :Jeremy: Yeah!!! :Chad: I shall take you on as my apprentice, Jeremy. Together we shall decimate the competition and conquer the food retailing industry! :Jeremy: That would be awesome! :Chad: (swinging his lightsaber) Yes, it SHALL be awesome! (Chad's lightsaber smashes through a display case.) Oh, um...clean that up, Jeremy. (Chad walks away.) :Clarissa: So, I've always wondered, what's up with the suit and the helmet? :Chad: I--I was in a biking accident. :Clarissa: You ride a motorcycle? :Chad: No, a bicycle. I lost control on a road and I went over an embankment, down a hill, into a volcano. :Clarissa: Oh my gosh! :Chad: But my brother--I have a famous brother--he sent me this suit. I can never remove it or I will die. The Night Shift :Chad: Hello, Lionel. I am Lord Vader, the new night shift manager. :Lionel: 25 cents a can. :Chad: What? :Lionel: Tomato sauce. It's on sale. That lady bought like...10 cans. She saved a lot. :Chad: Uh, what lady? :Lionel: She was here about an hour ago. She saved a lot. :Chad: Yes.... Well, I must return to my-- :Lionel: Muffins. Swiss cheese. Roast beef. :Chad: Okay...? :Lionel: Say, do you like light bulbs? :Weird Jimmy: You're doomed! Doomed! DOOMED! :Chad: This is bullshit. Dog in the Store :Hal: Excuse me, where are your live chickens? :Chad: We do not carry that item. :Hal: I found some frozen ones, but they won't work for my voodoo ritual. :Chad: We do NOT carry that item. :Hal: But where are they? :Chad: I told you already! We do NOT have live chickens. Does this look like a chicken coop? Do not ask me where they are because they are NOT here! :Chad: Return the day shift to me, Randy. You do not realize the power I posess! Together we can rule Empire Market as General Manager and Day Manager! :Randy: Come on, Chad. You've had a rough first night. Let's go into my office-- :Chad: You will join me or die! :Randy: Do you really mean that, Chad? :Chad: No. Please give me my day shift back. Drunk :Bartender: That job meant a lot to you, huh? :Chad: Yes, she did. :Bartender: She? :Chad: Clarissa. My supposed former girlfriend is out on a date with my arch-enemy Clint. :Bartender: But you know, they're sitting right over there. :Chad: Yes, I know... :Clarissa: I saw you following us. :Chad: No, you didn't. Stop lying. :Clarissa: Chad-- :Chad: How does it feel to be such a liar? :Clarissa: Why don't you do something with your life and stop being so lame? :Chad: I can't help it, Clarissa. I'm lame! LAME! New Job :Chad: You think you have won this round, eh? Wait until I send a service droid to your house to destroy your communication-- :Telemarketing Boss: Hey, Chad? :Chad: Hmm? :Telemarketing Boss: It's not working out. :Chad: Fine. If you want to fire me after one phone call, fine. I don't care.... :Resturant Boss: (In Spanish) Hey, Chad. :Chad: (In Spanish) Yes? :Resturant Boss: (In Spanish) It's not working out. :Chad: (In Spanish) What a suprise! Trapped in the Trash :Ben (Ghost): I have some information for you. :Chad: Really? What? :Ben (Ghost): Clint hates you. :Chad: (sarcasm) Oh, I had NO idea! :'Jeremy:' The power switch! Too weak...! :'Weird Jimmy:' What, this? Oh, I don't know, I have to consult with Mop! (Holds a silent conversation with his mop) Nope, sorry! Can't do it! :'Jeremy:' No! :'Weird Jimmy:' Just JOKING! Chad Fights Back Season 2 The Takeover :'Randy:' Hello everyone, uhh, welcome to Empire Market. :'Champion J. Pepper:' Hello. I'm ''Champion J. Pepper. :' Randy:' Yes, I know. We've known each other for years, Mr. Pepper. :Pepper: I know that. I just like to introduce myself every time I enter a room. It's a new thing I'm trying out. :Randy: I...see. Laser Trouble mouse droid appears :Chad: Ahh, that cute little guy. By the end of the month, I hope to construct a fleet of these cleaning droids. It will increase our maintenance efficiency by 18%. walks over to the mouse droid :Hal: Excuse me, do you have diapers...for fresh babies? :Mouse Droid: to spark EXTERMINATE-IMPURITY!! runs away in fear :Chad: Uhh...still working the bugs out... :Mouse Droid: EXTERMINATE!! EXTERMINATE!! :Chad: ...and this is...Weird Jimmy. :Margret: Well look at you! :Weird Jimmy: I'd prefer you didn't. :Margret: What does Weird Jimmy do? :Chad: He...uhh...excellent question. :Weird Jimmy: What I do before noon, would make a grown man cry and skip his breakfast. I swoop down in the night, with claws and a beak, like the shadow of a scary dream bird! When you wake up, all sweaty and nervous, you better pray to whatever god you believe in that you NEVER know the darkness that I have seen! pause :Margret: So you're the janitor? :Weird Jimmy: tone Pretty much, yeah. :Chad & Margret: Let's move on. :Jeremey: over Lord Vader...you're needed at the check out counter! pause I am very calm right now. :Well, Commander Wigstrom, as luck would have it, that is our next destination. :'''Jeremey: But-but but- :Chad Vader: NOT NOW, Commander! :Jeremey: Lord Vader, but.... move on :Weird Jimmy: PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!!!!!!!! Into the Basement :Chad: Is this man bothering you, Libby? to Lloyd :Libby: Not really. :Chad: Hey Lloyd, let me see that cookie for a second. :Lloyd: the cookie to Chad Sure thing, Chad. throws the cookie at Jeremey's helmet causing Lloyd to go get it, Chad takes Lloyd's seat :Chad: He was bothering me! laughs That's a good one. Do you like jokes? I have more. :Libby: her head No, I don't really like jokes or conversation. I prefer to sit in silence and pray. :Chad: Umm....yeah. :Libby: It was a joke, Chad. :Chad: Oh! laughter The Basement Strikes Back :Jeremey: the boiler I think it's done! I think I finally did something right! :Weird Jimmy: That's what the last guy said. Right before everything went GLOOM!!! laughs :Weird Jimmy: Hey, guys. What would you do if I told you there were three killer robots waiting for us outside this door? :Chad: normal response Oh, I would hide and probably cry. You? :Jeremy: I would fight and smash! :Weird Jimmy: Well you're gonna need to do that. The New Employee ::Chad: Robbie, how are you? :Robbie Johnson: Happier than I've ever been in my entire life! I'm back where I belong. Forever! :Margret: I want you to personally supervise Robbie's training, Chad. He's your...apprentice if you will. :Chad: What about Commander Wigstrom? He's my- :Margret: You are to stop wasting time with Jeremey and focus on Robbie, is that clear? :Chad: As you wish. :Margret: Is. That. Clear? :Chad: Yeah. As you wish mean o- :Margret: Good. Dismissed. and Robbie leave Everything is happening exactly according to plan! laugh First Kiss :Robbie Johnson: All this food looks so foreign and exotic. I think I'll have the....pasta. :Chad: I'm going to start this special meal off with a delicious chocholatinee. :Libby: I'm sorry Chad, Maggy said we couldn't order any alcohol. :Chad: Of course. How silly of me. I'm going to start this special meal off with some delicious....water. Goodbye, Chad :Chad: Clarissa. Looking lovely as ever! :Clarissa: When are we gonna go on that second date? :Chad: No-can-do. I'm seeing someone! Heh heh. Audious, moochacha! :Chad: reading Libby's farewell letter Gone. Libby! NOOOOOOO-''' a marshmellow hits him in the face] Huh? :'''Marshmallow Bandit-o: Chad Vader! :Chad: Who the hell are you? :Marshmallow Bandit-o: It is I, Marshmallow Bandit-o. :Chad: even shaken Uhh-huh. :Marshmallow Bandit-o: You would do well to cower before my might! I am your arch-nemesis. :Chad: You picked the wrong day to mess with me, nerd. Marshmallow Bandit-o spits a marshmallow at Chad Don't make me destr- marhmallow hits him in the face Eww. :Marshmallow Bandit-o: laughs Links *Chad Vader article. Category:Chad Vader Category:Quotes Pages